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I wonder if, while more impersonal than a phone call, an well-written (form) email might be the way to go on this nowadays. Something along the lines of:
Dear Sister,
This message is to inform you that we are releasing Patty PNM from our next round of Formal Recruitment Parties. Please know that we did not come to this decision lightly, and that details of this decision cannot be discussed. We are informing you out of respect to you as our sister. We wish you and Patty PNM luck in the future, and hope you will continue to support Alpha Beta Gamma.
You may contact us at 555-555-5555, but once again, details regarding why your legacy was released cannot be discussed.
Respectfully,
Sarah Sister
Formal Recruitment Chair (Advisor, VP, whatever)
Like I said, it's not as personal as a phone call, but I think it would be a solution that is respectful on all ends. If the mom/sister/grandmom ends up crying/raging, she can do so in private, without saying something she doesn't mean, and active sisters/advisors are spared from that (and accidentally revealing TMI). The letter might also state when Patty PNM will be receiving her invite list, so the relative can make the decision whether to call the legacy before or after getting the list.
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Facile remedium est ubertati; sterilia nullo labore vincuntur.
I think pearls are lovely, especially when you need something to clutch. ~ AzTheta
The Real World Can't Hear You ~ GC Troll
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