You definitely should not beat yourself up!
You can look at the entire picture and see what happened and at least pretty much know why. Many young women just can't do that when they are cut/released. They will never feel that peace that you can...even if it hurts a bit.
Your case is one of those recruitment cases where, in my opinion, the system does not really work. I am quite familiar with UF and I totally understand the bigger picture here, but I happen to agree that this is where the system is a tad flawed.
Go enjoy yourself! You are at an amazing school and you will have the time of your life. I hope something opens for you with COB.
Good Luck!
