Quote:
Originally Posted by honeyD
I have told my entire sorority about my situation and discussed it in depth with my president. They support me and have my back. I know the rules I am just on here telling my situation to get some advice and information on what I can possibly do. This is not a made up story in any possible way I hate talking about it. I am not looking for sympathy or special treatment. I am not trying to be disloyal or disrepectful or sneaky for that matter. I honestly just want to be were my mom was when she was in college. Thanks.
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The answer is that no matter what, it is against the rules. There are no exceptions, even when the situation is beyond your control. Many people have explained why it is disloyal and such. Beyond those two issues... here is what you can possibly do: obey the rules and not join or break the rules and attempt to rush. If you do choose to rush at your new school and are found out (and please understand it is extremely unlikely that you will make it through your years as a collegian without being caught), you will probably lose your membership in both organizations, and that is assuming you are given a bid in the first place. (As you know, a PNM cannot be guaranteed to receive a bid to her first choice.)
Also know that just because your mother had a great experience in that chapter does not mean that you will. You might click with the girls there, but you might not. There are so many other ways to find new friends without sneaking around or taking risks. Understand that you WILL be sneaking around if you attempt to go through recruitment, because you will have to hide your former affiliation. You will not be allowed to join recruitment if you are honest about your current membership (even if you quit). Hiding something like that, especially with facebook and myspace, could get very stressful. I assume when you say that you did not "make up" your earlier post that you lost your mother. If that is the case, I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard that is. But finding a grief support group with other people your age that have lost a parent is probably a better and far less risky way to find people who can and will support you. They will be able to relate to what you're going through. You could visit the Counseling center at your new school and have them help you find such a group.
You can also keep up your friendships with your current sisters. Definitely download Skype and have them do so as well...plan visits whenever finances and time allow. Invite them to come visit you. A local alum group is also a great resource as there are probably other displaced sisters in the area who have transferred and no longer have a chapter to belong to.
Keep in mind that depending on this one thing...getting into this specific chapter...for your happiness is not healthy. You have to find ways to make yourself get through this rough patch. Remember that if you do choose to rush at your new school you're risking not making it into the chapter, getting in and getting subsequently kicked out, or even just getting in and finding out you don't relate to the sisters and are feeling left out and lost, while having to remember to hide your former affiliation. That's a big risk and a lot to handle. It's a gamble.
To recap: What you want to do is not allowed, even under your personal circumstances. Even if the chapter you currently belong to agrees to you wanting to join another sorority. I don't think anyone here will tell you it is "ok", and there's no help to be found, the answer is what it is. So you have to make your own choice.
In the future, you might want to take questions like this to someone you feel comfortable talking to. Because your circumstances are so personal and, of course, life changing, you need to talk to someone who you know and trust so that you can get whatever you need out of the conversation without getting hurt.