Quote:
Originally Posted by carnation
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that it's a shock when you realize that your child isn't going to inherit your traditions and it's got to be an awful one when it's involuntary- like a close friend has hurt you deeply.
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I just do NOT get this. Maybe it's because I'm not a mother, and that's a fair criticism. However, if my cousin rushes this fall and my sorority drops her despite my glowing letter of recommendation, I'm not going to feel betrayed as I would if my best friend said something cruel about me. If my (future and as yet hypothetical) daughter doesn't get what she wants in life whether college, sorority, or whatever, that's disappointing but not actual heartbreak.
It's a sorority. It's dear to our hearts, but it is NOT the loss of a child or loved one, it is not the betrayal of a spouse or family member, it is none of these truly tragic things to be dropped from a chapter. And as the adults, we're supposed to have the
perspective on that. It's natural for an 18 year old to get swept up in the whole thing and feel like her life is over by being dropped. But as adults, we're supposed to know better. We're supposed to know that the first infatuation isn't really love, even if we know that she won't listen to us.
Even if, as a mother, it's easy to get caught up in it too, it's her job, as the one with the fully developed frontal lobe to reason and not to get swept up in the daughter's emotions, no matter how much she empathizes and sympathizes.