Quote:
Originally Posted by carnation
I like it when PNMs find a new home where they never would've expected one, although I believe it's often obvious when a group is taking anyone (when I rushed, there were 2 groups who invited all rushees back to every party; bad move on that campus).
I like it when teens can accept constructive criticism (do I sound like a teacher?) In the case of this particular girl, those 2 groups may well be her only options, although I have seen PNMs have a much more successful rush the second time than the first for various and sometimes unexplainable reasons.
I don't like it when adults jump on a hurting PNM, snarling at her because she cut some groups. As I said, we aren't looking over their shoulders.
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Since we have no way to know what her chances are with any group our best bet is to encourage her to keep her options open. It's the best and most positive advice even if it come at the expense of questioning her reasoning for excluding groups. During/post rush, we frequently encourage the openminded-ness but don't tend to second guess or be mean to a PNM who ends up withdrawing or cutting groups she's not feeling comfortable with. It's before rush when we try to correct that.
Even groups that are recommended to make no cuts under RFM still make cuts. Ones that don't, don't last. I don't think you actually know the health of the chapter unless you're a member and you probably don't have a good idea unless you're a member of another chapter on the same campus.
Honestly the only time I see GC turn into an unchecked pack of lions is when there are obvious inconsistencies in the story that leads us to believe we're being lied to and/or trolled. Taking the GatorKate example, people first questioned the inconsistencies, THEN after it turned out the story was nothing like what was claimed the tides turned. Then we got meangirl trolled and it turned out the whole thing was bait.
So really the best way to "make us nicer" would be for the trolls to stop their "sobstory PNM" baiting. And the "pile-ons" happen just as often due to taking a while to write a post and getting beaten to the bunch as they do because the OP responds to initial well meant criticism or concern with ignorance and sarcasm.
And I don't think being the "tone" police works well, nor the "embarrassed on behalf of ____ for your behavior" argument.