[honeychile]

For some reason, talking to perfect strangers comes very easily for me. I didn't realize how easily until I was helping form a colony, and one of my chapter sisters said, "Honey always was our best rusher!" I think it surprised me more than anyone else!

Anyhow, the thing to remember when meeting someone for the first time: You all do the same thing when you wake up in the morning - even the Queen of England! A PNM is probably a gazillion times more scared than you, just don't get cocky about it.

Another rule of thumb: If you smile when you talk, your voice automatically takes a pleasant tone. I try to remember to do this at work every day.

-If she reminds you of someone, mention it in a funny way: "You don't take that horrible Rocks for Jocks class, do you?" or the standard, "I think I know your evil twin" but tweak it. "I think I know your evil twin... unless you'd rather be the evil one!" This can segue nicely into soap operas or movies.

-As said before, if she's wearing something that shows effort, mention it. "Wow - I love that pin! Where on earth did you find that?" then spin off to funky little shops or Tiffany's or whatever.

-Always know your sisters WELL! If someone says she's from Tiny Town, and one of your sisters is, too, for heaven's sake, say, "Oh, do you know Suzie Sister? She's also from Tiny Town." Or, you can say, "What is that near? Maybe we're neighbors!"

-If the PNM has a "famous" last name, ask about it. One of the PNMs for the colony had the same last name as a major distributor locally. I asked her, and sure enough, that was her dad. And he owned a soccer team. And she had a crush on one of the office people I knew. Etc, etc.

-During the last of a given day's parties, it's always a given that you can say, "These long days must be killing you!" or "Between you and me, I can't wait to get my shoes off!" but in a conspiratory way, not negative. Of course her feet hurt, and she's emotionally exhausted - she'll be thrilled that you recognize this.

-NEVER say "Where are you going next?" You don't know if she has anymore parties to attend or not.

-What dorm she lives in, what does she think of her professors, the mandatory textbooks - all of these are much better than, "What's your major?"

Practice, practice, practice! Do it in front of a mirror, with other sisters, your family. You want to have this down so pat that you will NOT sound (or in reality, be) phony. You will become a sparklingly conversationalist in no time flat.

Now, there are PNMs who are going to read this and say, "What a crock! I knew they were phonies!" But! Think of it as an opportunity to learn how to "make friends and influence people" to quote Dale Carnegie. One of my sisters was constantly put in charge of the social aspect of one of her adult life. Someone asked her how she was able to put people at ease so quickly, and she responded, "I was in a sorority!" That, dear PNMs, is what sisters who are recruiting for the first time are trying to learn, too - how to put you at ease.