Originally Posted by GatorKate
I've been lurking all year and finally decided to create an account and post. I rushed during the Fall at a major SEC school and had what I consider to be an unsettling result. In short, because I'm not going through my whole recruitment, I had a very successful rush in terms of cuts, etc. I ended up preffing two houses that I really liked, and one house that I felt iffy about. A former high school classmate and friend was a sister in one of my top two houses, and I really liked her, (she and all her friends were rushing me very, very hard) and everyone I talked with there. My other favorite house is considered one of the top houses on campus and pre rush I felt intimated by both their reputation and their sort of perfect pretty sisterhood. However, I had what most would consider a fairytale experience there, rushed by a variety of different girls with different interests, and I found myself really connecting with two of them. Going into pref round I felt very torn as I felt an obligation to my friend and feared hurting her feelings but I also knew I was really loving the other house.
At pref at the "top" house, both of the girls I liked told me how they had fought over who got to pref me and told me how much they loved me and looked forward to my visit. When I was solo for the more intimate parts of the round with one of the sisters, she handed me a letter she had written about how much she wanted me to pledge and how much she felt I fit in there. It was really overwhelming. Then she asked me if I was torn at all and if I knew that I wanted to be there, and of course, I told her the truth about the other house and my friends, and feeling a little confused.
Pref at my friend's house was very similar with crying, professions of love, etc. Honestly, by the time I got to the third house I was so caught up in having to choose between the other two, I really didn't give them a fair chance. But I did realize that my heart belonged to the first house, that I loved the girls who'd preffed me and that I would have to hurt my friend's feelings in order to be happy. Once I decided I was really thrilled and excited to call myself their sister and could hardly wait to rank them number 1.
Well, bid day comes and I get my card and...it's my friend's house. I can hardly contain my sadness, though I don't know why because I DID love her house too. I think that once I had made my decision my heart got set on the other house and it was really hard to take their rejection. In fact I cried myself to sleep for the next few weeks and I still think about it all the time. I didn't pledge my friend's house and in the end I ended up not getting what I wanted and STILL hurting her feelings.
I know you guys get annoyed with people asking you WHY they didn't get a bid somewhere, and I'm not asking that. Simply, do you think expressing my confusion over my choise to the girl who preffed me hurt my chance of getting a bid there? Is it off-putting to have a PNM not return your affections and say "oh yes, yes, I want to be here, please give me a bid?"
Did I mess up?
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