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Originally Posted by Alumiyum
And ironically in school I the most perfect child you could ask for, because I badly wanted to be the teacher's pet. Never acted out during school hours. I'm sure my teachers would've been floored if they'd ever encountered the after school me.
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When I was teaching first grade a few years ago, I had a student who was the same way. When it came time for "Back to School Night" which I believe was a month into the school year, the mother and her cousin/brother (whoever the male of the house was) didn't believe that I was talking about their child. I was like.... "No, his behavior is perfect." And they were all "Why do you act up at home but not for Mr. Darden?" And he shrugged.
Kids are crazy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IrishLake
Why are they this good? Two reasons: we reward for good behavior, and we punish for bad behavior.
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I wish more parents and schools believed this. One reason I left the education field was the abject failure of PBIS - Positive Behavior Intervention Systems - and school-wide incentive plans. They were just stupid. They rolled out all this theoretical candy and balloons and hugs and meanwhile the badass kids stayed bad. No consequences whatsoever.
I am so home schooling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWTXBelle
I had 3 children who didn't need spanking. So, before #4, I was anti-spanking. Then came #4 - for whom spanking (or most of the time, the threat of it) was the only thing which worked for serious infractions for a period of about 2 years. As in most things parenting - I'd advise not speaking in absolutes. "I'd NEVER . . ." is setting yourself up.  |
One of the best pieces of advice I got from a parent was that every child is different and it doesn't matter if the previous ones came from the same parents in the same house.... some will just be wired differently. I'm glad I know that now.
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Originally Posted by preciousjeni
Me too. My mom called it "licks" as in "that's one lick." She didn't even say what we were doing wrong just "that's two licks." Those three words would set me straight every time. And, my mother didn't forget nethin.  She'd say it in the morning on the way to school and I knew when I got home it was on. |
OMG my mom too! (I think, it didn't happen often)
Quote:
Originally Posted by preciousjeni
I have had a lot of success with children in public quieting down when I give them the look and shake my head slightly so they can see I disapprove, as long as I can make eye contact. I don't know whether it's embarrassment or simply an unspoken boundary being set, but it's very quick and does not draw attention to the child or the parent.
At a previous job, there was a woman who used to bring her daughter to work. The time frame was over the course of about three years ending with the little girl heading off to school, so she was pretty young.
The child was considered a holy terror from screaming in the office to grinding crayons into the carpet. She would tear up people's work spaces because they wouldn't speak up to her. With me, though, every time she did something I didn't like, I would take her by both arms and look her in the eye to get her attention so I could tell her why it was unacceptable. It scared her at first, but little by little, she got the message. After that, she knew that when she was being good, she could come get a hug or draw at my desk or just about anything she asked nicely to do, as long as I wasn't busy.
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I do that too! There was this kid playing with a dead bird on a stick next to my apartment building. I looked at him in the eye and said "Stop it." he was shook. I was smug.
