[AggieDZ]

Ok, I'm going to be HONEST. Despite panhellenic's "position" statement that asserts that it is the responsibility of the chapter to obtain rec's for women (a statement which blows my mind as being completely skewed toward a system that promotes an un-level playing groung that favors young women who are "in the know"---which usually means: comes from a "greek" family or runs in "those" social circles) the facts point directly toward the reality at which LexiKD hints .

At larger (mine included) and other exclusive schools, more often than not, a young woman will be at a severe disadvantage (read released earlier than someone with a rec, or sometimes not even invited to the first round of official "parties") if she expects to compete with the other 1000+ PNM's without a rec. To be fair, I have heard of one situation where a PNM's rec never reached the chapter & she forgot to include a photo slide--which was required in our school's process with her info packet. Two sisters took extreme interest in this PNM, had a photo slide made from the picture she included, and contacted women in her home town to obtain background info amounting to a rec for this young woman. The PNM was, in the end, given a bid and initiated into that chapter.... but, this is the only instance of something like this happening that I have EVER heard of (& I only heard of it because the woman is a good friend of mine)..... That's ONE girl out of the 1,200 young women who rushed that year!

While panhellenic and those who accept and favor that antiquated mentality asserted by their position statement, will tell PNM's that it is taboo to solicit rec's (some say it's ok to ask women you know very well, some say it's not ok to ask at all...... Look, those "rec" forms are easliy accessable to be viewed by anyone from national or local websites, and most of them have a section that asks if the rec was volunteered, or asked for and whether or not the alumna knows this woman and for how long etc...... Why is this info on there if it doesn't matter?!?) I know from personal experience that if you don't KNOW anyone from a certain chapter (and want to do "well" in recruitment with that chapter) that you've simply just got to find an alumna and ask. I did not come from a greek family and had NO idea what I was getting into with recruitment, the first time....... When I decided to do it "right", I searched for alumna from every chapter represented on my campus, provided these women with a resume, pictures, a personal statement (which let them know about my personality, accomplishments, why I wanted to join a sorority and that I understood that I was left with a great disadvantage in my chosen school's recruitment process by not being familiar enough with alumnae from their organization to have rec's volunteered for me) and just asked. I got many, MANY letters and phone calls from these alumnae telling me how much they were impressed by my drive and the assertive position I took making sure I had every opportunity to allow my dreams to become a reality.

So, PNM's if you have a feeling that your school or greek system might be one of the super-competitive ones, don't let anything hold you back! Conventionality only stands because most people accept the "it's just that way, because that's the way it's always been" mentality. If you want a rec, go get it! You can do anything, if you want it, work hard enough, and make sure you are the best potential candidate you can possibly be. With few exceptions, I believe that there is a place for every young woman to succeed and excel in the sorority experience. That's because I believe in the inherent worthiness that exists in every human spirit and that we all carry the responsiblity of offering the successes and experiences that life and whatever deity you believe in has afforded us to others.

Look, I think we can all gather from their posts & agree that many of the young women who come to this site and end up asking questions are pretty much clueless about how it all works. I know I was.... Heck, I'm STILL learning about all of that. I think it's only fair that we're as honest as we can be with them.


To the other Delta Zeta women on GC:

It seems to me, from the forms that actives may, indeed, submit both the Legacy Introduction form and the Personal Reference form. Is this correct? I know that it wouldn't be necessary for an active to submit the form to her own chapter, but would this be acceptable at other schools?