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lovelyivy 84: And as to the whole not being strong enough to want to know that just made me sad. You shouldn't let a romantic relationship define who you are, or how you feel about yourself (outside of a marriage anyway). No man defines you, and if you let one you are just ASKING for trouble, really (men can smell needy a mile away). If you found out that he cheated, would you bblame him or the woman involved? Just curious.
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In regards to not wanting to know it isn't because I just need "a man" to stick around. I believe a person could be in a relationship worth saving (i.e. perhaps married with children). If I were in a relationship worth saving, the only way it could be "saved" is for me not to know. If I knew my mate cheated on me I don't think I could know that information and maintain the relationship. It will probably come to a point where the relationship would have to end.
I would definitely blame him for the cheating. It isn't the woman's responsibility to set boundaries for someone else's relationship. It would be nice if once people knew you were in a committed relationship they would act accordingly. But that's not how it works. Whoever is in the relationship is responsibile for setting the boundaries (even if you have to be mean about it .
folks will try to test your limits)