[lovelyivy84]

It is absolutely possible to just be friends, and have boundaries, but it is hard for men to stick within them. How do I know? I have a lot of guy friends, and I have had to check a couple of them on occassion. When I did, they remembered, lol.

But I do admit that I am not attracted to any of my male friends whatsoever. Not in the slightest. I don't know if I could really be JUST friends with someone I found attractive who also found me attractive because I have tried it in the past and it never works. Tension always messesthings up one way or another.

As for appropriate behavior when in a relationship I think TLAW's suggestion of not doing anything that you would be mad about is a really good one. If your SO has a problem with your friendship with a member of the opposite sex then I guess it all depends on the strength of the frienship v. the strength of the relationship. I would have to take a good look at how I interact with whoever they had a problem with. If I thought they had a point then I would try to accomodate them, but if I felt that they were overreacting I will be damned if I throw away a long-term friendship for someone who can't stand that I have other people who are important to me.

As for this whole judging issue NO ONE HERE said that Professor was bad or a bad man, just that we felt he was making a mistake that really does reflect on his strengths and weaknesses. We just gave our opinions. I really don't care if anyone doesn't like mine, he asked for it.

And as to the whole not being strong enough to want to know that just made me sad. You shouldn't let a romantic relationship define who you are, or how you feel about yourself (outside of a marriage anyway). No man defines you, and if you let one you are just ASKING for trouble, really (men can smell needy a mile away). If you found out that he cheated, would you bblame him or the woman involved? Just curious.