[nikki25]

Thanks AlphaPhiAce and brainzandbeauty for setting the record straight.

I do appreciate the author's note of media perceptions of Black relationships. I am dismayed, however, by her seeming misinterpretations of the point of the movies and the reality of contemporary Black relationships.

These movies and articles reflect what is actually happening. Publications such as Essence are written by contemporary and progressive thinking sistahs who are actually going through the same drama as the rest of us. Second, I think that Black cinema is getting more sophisticated in that, it too, reflects what is actually happening (although fictional). Face it...there are problems with Black relationships and people deal with them in varied ways...that's what these depictions reflect. There is a dynasm in Black culture and relationships. We are at a place that is familiar, but not new terrain.

Black women and men are seeking companions and not simply economic partners. This idea is reaching a new height, but it isn't an entirely new phenomenon.

Moreover, there is nothing wrong with a woman who does find a gentleman who is able to be the breadwinner. Being a housewife is a noble occupation. It relies on skills gained in formal academic programs such as: Psychology, Economics, Education, Business, and English. To call characters such as Mia in The Best Man and Vivica's character in Soul Food a ditz is totally wrong. Also, you can be a career woman and be a ditz. Jordan was quite the intelligent woman, but couldn't discover that if she wanted to maintain a relationship, she need to find balance.

That's a lesson that many buppie women have a hard time understanding....you can have it all...but it requires balance. Sisters cannot enter relationships like a business deal. It requires sharing, negotiation, time, and willingness. Good relationships are not entered into simply because you meet the minimum qualifications. Rather, it is because you recognize that you want a companion. At the end of movies such as Two Can Play that Game, The Brothers, and Love Jones, that point was driven home in a crystal clear fashion.

In this day, there is a need to continue to nurture one's professional acumen, but also nurture the personal character...which is challenged by modern relationships. I've not seen mainstream publications that frequently speak on this balance. That's the deficiency of Black media.

Black cinema and publications, in my opinion are acting like the way Bob Marley and the Wailers did in the '70s...they are simply reporting the news. Its the state of Black Love...and we've got to own up to it...and engage in dialogue so that both sides can understand and meet the challenges at this station.