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I'm a server at a mid-level "upscale" restaurant I guess you can say?
certainly nothing that has really been spoken about on this thread, but higher than the family friendly restaurants. (I'd rather not post where I work due to what I'm going to say)..these are all in the 'general' world, as tips and that sorta thing can never be judged by looking at them, but this is just from my "experience" (i've only worked there for a year so far).
Unfortunately due to the demand of families, our restaurant has had it's doors open up to large parties, and for accommodations for children, which is something that they are now trying to fix with new renovations (making it less reasonable for a party more then 8 to get a table). I find that parties, even at the size of 8 with children are typically awful for a number of reasons
whether they're well behaved or not, if your party is a certain number +, you're going to get atleast 2 servers taking care of you, with the 15% adding right on. However, if a number of kids are included in this party number, the tips diminishes significantly and there's really no point in having the second server around, but due to rules (or sharing of different sectioned tables) nothing can be done. Often parents don't realize this and "compensate"
Then you have the problem of a bunch of children being around each other, almost feeding off each others' energy.. which leads to games like tag, or hide and seek in the dining room. I've seen it multiple times, and unlike most servers or even managers, have found their parents, and have talked to them sternly that our restaurant is not a McDonalds playground, and they could actually be severely hurt if a server walked, or tripped over them, kicked them, or they run into the kitchen's swinging doors when someones behind them. This has happened even without it being a "party" per say.
I've also had a lot of trouble with parents who don't understand to NOT order food for your child if you know s/he won't eat it. Because it ends up on the floor. and who takes care of that? normally the busser, but most of the time, these same parents spend 2+ hrs at the table (so the server looses a possible 2 turns) and the bussers are usually gone by whatever time they finish. So it's the server. Typically, these same people only tip 10%, if that. I had to serve a family where they had a disabled baby. They ordered him mac and cheese. none of it entered this kid's mouth, but ended up ALL over the floor and the table, making a huge disturbance in the dining area as well as a huge mess, which I ended up having to clean up as they left when they bussers did. I understand, that this is my job, and along with it comes this situation...buuut I still don't like it.
And while this child makes a mess, just like any other child who makes a disturbance, the parents are spending more of their time coddling their kid rather than enjoying their meal, which is not cheap.
Another annoyance is when the restaurant is an hour away from close, and you decide to bring your family of 20, 10 of them being children. Sure, it's a weekday, it's late, we have a place for you that is not around the main dining area. But oh wait, you want us to make everyone's meals ready in 10 minutes because you don't want your kids to stay up late on a school night, and they're getting fussy because they should be in bed? sorry, not going to happen.
This was really for me to vent my frustrations. When it comes to well behaved children, I give a huge compliment to the parents to let them know whatever they do as parents is working (while hoping for another parent to overhear and take a hint).
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