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I have had several nice meals out with my husband (all too rare with our budget and schedule) ruined by misbehaving children and adults who think their antics are "cute". So in my book, leave them home with a sitter unless you are really sure they are going to behave. And you insure they are going to behave by practicing table manners at home.
I think one of the problems is that fewer and fewer families sit down at their own dining room tables to eat a meal with napkins, table settings, glassware, and a candle or two. For many of my friends, their family meals were almost always in the car, or standing up at the kitchen island with everyone warming up something and eating when ever they wanted, and/or sitting in front of the TV in the family room. You can't learn table manners and conversation skills if you only eat at a table at Christmas and Thanksgiving. Maybe it's because I had three boys, but I believe that children need a lot of social practice!
I don't buy the argument that after school activities mean you can't have family meals. But that's one of my priorities, so I'm not unbiased on that topic!
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