|
Bostongreek: I may have gone to bed but that doesn’t mean I slept... Haha, I definitely stayed up for hours tossing and turning, extremely nervous and worried.
Day 3 was pref round. I didn’t receive a dreaded phone call! Yay. I got ready with high hopes since I figured I’d be having a good day if I didn’t get the phone call.
I walked over to headquarters, and waited to get my schedule. Thankfully, I’d been asked back by two houses.
However, I’d been dropped by Amelie. The disappointment was intense. I was sitting there, in the room surrounded by other girls -- some who’d gotten their top choices, and others who hadn’t, doing my very best not to cry. I knew that it was silly to stress over it, and that I should instead be glad to be asked back to two houses, but I was still a bit devastated about not getting asked back to Amelie. I racked my brain trying to think of reasons why I had been dropped -- all ranging from “maybe the girls didn’t really like me” to “maybe it’s because I have a lot of friends from a certain house.” I know that it’s unreasonable and crazy to think that, but I was really upset. One of the girls I had talked to the day before had told me that she hoped to see me the next day.
I managed to compose myself (I teared up, but didn’t cry) and tried to make the best out of the situation. After all, I had been asked back to two houses!
The two houses that I’d been asked back to were Pulp Fiction and Penelope.
Pulp Fiction’s ceremony was nice...but it was just that. I was paired up with a girl who was slightly awkward...there wasn’t much to talk about with her, and I felt slightly out of place. They had a candle lighting during which they told us a few blurbs about the sorority. After that, they had us go up to the president and recruitment chair, who then told us how much we meant to them, the girls, and the chapter.
After that, I went directly to Penelope’s ceremony. Other girls had a break that lasted anywhere from 45 minutes to 4 hours.
Penelope’s ceremony was really sweet, and touching. My best friend ended up preffing me, and that really made the whole ceremony very special. We first had a round of conversation, where they gave us desserts, then they took us to a room where they sat us down, and had each girl say why we were so special to them and the chapter as a whole. Many of the girls teared up at various parts, and I can say that I was guilty of that myself when it came to my turn. As I said before, it was really touching.
After that, I got back to headquarters. I sat down in front of the paper to list the houses, and I did not know what to do. I obviously knew where I wanted to end up. The pref ceremony had made that painfully clear. I wanted to be in Penelope, I really did. But I didn’t want to risk the chance of getting Pulp Fiction -- although all the girls were really nice, I didn’t really feel at home there. Throughout all the days, I didn’t particularly feel a connect with them. Everyone had told me that I would feel “it” with the house that was supposed to be home, and I didn’t feel it at Pulp Fiction.
I knew however, that if I suicided Penelope, I would not be eligible for a snap bid, or COB throughout the quarter if I did not receive a bid. However, if I did receive a bid from Pulp Fiction, I knew that I would not be particularly keen to accept it, even though I’d be bound to them for a year. And that would mean I wouldn’t be able to rush again for a full year -- which would be spring quarter of my sophomore year. I didn’t want to drop out of rush and then rush again in the fall, because I didn’t want to be labeled as a “house hunter.” I did truly want to be in a sorority, but in one where I felt I could be at home.
I sat there in front of the paper and I started to cry. I was just so overwhelmed. I had a few options. I talked to a rho gamma about it, and she told me that if I didn’t want to drop out, I should just list both houses, to maximize my options. I would have asked my rho gamma, but she was a member of Pulp Fiction and I felt as though that would be extremely awkward to discuss with her.
I ended up listing the houses as such
Penelope
Pulp Fiction
I gathered my stuff, and walked back to my dorm room where my two best friends were waiting for me. Both are in sororities, but their houses did not participate in spring recruitment. I took longer than I should have in going back to my room, simply because I was so exhausted. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the entire process -- from meeting all the different girls, to just learning about the different houses on campus. I really enjoyed everything, I did. I just didn’t realize how tiring and emotionally exhausting it was until the last day. I ended up sitting next a tree at one point and just crying a little bit more. I wanted so badly to be in Penelope, but I just didn’t know if it end up that way.
My friends tried to reassure me that the process just worked, all I had to do was trust in it. I tried to believe them, but it was tough. They both did love the houses they ended up in, but I didn’t know if I would end up in the house that I knew I could love.
I ended up worrying myself to sleep.
|