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Originally posted by stoplook_listen
Proffessor...don't pay any attention to all the self-righteous posts you are recieving. Most people who are in your position wouldn't tell. You are NOT being selfish. Not telling has a chance for saving her embarrasment. Telling will DEFINITELY make her embarrassed.
She will benefit from CONTINING to be HAPPILY married to you. She will suffer from knowledge of your accident. This doesn't sound selfish to me. If you tell, there will be positive and negative outcomes. If you keep it to yourself, there will be positive and negative outcomes...do the math...which scenario is most positive? Everybody wants to front like they are so honest..thats B.S.! There are ALOT of things that go on in your head and thoughts you think that you'd NEVER tell somebody. Some of these thoughts would turn them off and make them wanna leave you...but I dont see people giving their mate the "choice" to stay or leave. Prime example, alot of times when you marry someone, and have kids, they look worse than the day you first met. Maybe your wife is overweight and looks disgusting to you. You still love her and will stay with her, but imagine being "honest" with her and telling her how you feel. Nothing good will come out of it. You'll scar her. maybe she'll leave since you think she's ugly now. There are plenty of "honest" things we could confess to, but it just makes no sence. It will do more harm than good.
Most of the people telling you to confess are women. the only reason they are telling you to confess is because they would hope their man would do that. (Women stick together). I'm willing to bet 9/10 of them were cheated on and are taking their bitterness out on you. Nobody who lives in the REAL WORLD would expect someone to confess to a wrong like that. How many people commit crimes and go to the police and confess? If someone stole your wallet or your car...you'd waste alot of time waitin for someone to come forth and confess. Comeone people...lets stop putting our issues off on Professor. Lets be REALISTIC hear..and lets stop being so self-righteous like we are honest 100% of the time. Wether she finds out now or later, its STILL gonna hurt, shes STILL gonna be embarrassed, and all of the other drama. Right now she's not feeling those emotions. It is possible she may NEVER find out and thus never have to feel those emotions. You all should stop being selfish in what your self-righteous self think should happen and focus on her. She's in bliss right now...happily married. Let her keep her happiness.
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I already said that I have never cheated, nor have I been cheated on. Professor asked for opinions and we are giving them, just like you. If you don't like them then that says FAR more about what type of a BOY you are than anything.
And I would like to point out that the Professor is Thank GOD not married to this woman. They have more than enough time to WORK THIS OUT if that is possible. If he lies and covers this up then he diminishes those chances remarkably.
ALSO, AIDS is not the only STD out there. THere are many STD's that have no visible signs in women yet can be deadly and impact their ability to have children. There are also STD's that can be transmitted even when one is wearing protection. LORD HELP HIM if he has given the woman he claims to love a disease that destroys her capability to have children, or worse, because he will have done FAR MORE than simply destroy his relationship at that point.
Part of being a grown ass man or woman is FACING THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS. It is not an easy thing to do. When you mess up of course your first instinct is to deny, but if you are a mature adult then you realize that you can't live a good and moral/ethical life that way.
The Professor has always SAID that he is a good and moral man. Well now it is show and prove time. IF he doesn't tell than he has said MORE ABOUT HIS OWN CHARACTER THAN ANY WORDS THAT HE HAS EVER TYPED ON GC, POINT BLANK.
He asked for opinions and that is mine. Cheating is wrong and you need to fess up when you do it. I fail to see how it makes me self-righteous to give him the opinion he asked for. We are ALL human and make mistakes, but facing up them is part of life too.