[sistarisin]

I'll first tell you all a story and then I'll close with my point.

I had a child with a man prior to marrying him. We married, five months into our marriage I received pictures from a woman that he'd had a child with. I didn't know about the woman nor did I know about the child. I've left alot of information out but those are the basic facts.

POINT: The bigger picture here Professor, is that you're about to make a COMMITTMENT for life. I beg of you to really analyze what it is besides the urges of your penis to put you in the situation where you've cheated on your fiance. It is my firm opinion that there is a problem if not within your relationship than with you. If you cannot adhere to a monogamous relationship now, what will be your foundation for being committed after marriage?

Outside of thinking about what you lack internally to make a lifetime commitment to a woman. I'd also urge you to think of the bigger issues to look at outside of your 'indiscretion'. I don't know how long ago this 'indiscretion' was; but,what if you impregnated this woman?

In my situation, I wasn't given the choice to make a decision about a man who'd not only cheated but had a child outside of our relationship. I accepted him and this child for two years. Unfortunately, this man was not able to take responsibility for his 'transgression'. He blamed the issues that were going on in our relationship rather than taking ownership for what he'd done (the act of cheating). I could have gotten past the cheating if he had taken ownership but what made it worst in our situation is that he began our marriage on a big fat lie.

So get over the 'Oh chit, I cheated'. Think about why you did it and what's the possible backwash from the act.

Just some food for thought!