[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by beatlesfan87

I don't really know where to begin, other than at the beginning.

Well, let's see. I graduated from highschool in '06, so I went through rush in August '06. My mom and sister are both Kappas, making me a double legacy. I was really unsure if I even wanted to attend the college I was going to be attending, but I knew that making friends would be extremely important, and being in a sorority sounded like a wonderful bonding experience--a way that I could make friends and be a friend. I always thought I was outgoing, but looking back I realize that I was more reserved, and probably came off as though I had a chip on my shoulder. That was 100lbs. ago (I lost it--not gained!). I wanted to believe that the sororities would look beyond my weight. I think that was probably naive. Moreover, though, I realize that I was so affected by my weight that I probably wasn't that much fun to be around. Well, I got cut from my legacy and nearly every other house. I withdrew from rush and went through informal recruitment for a colonizing chapter for which I also happened to be a legacy, through my grandmother. I was cut!!! What before was a painful experience, this was a knife through the heart. This was not an established house, what's more, they still haven't made quota. Hearing my grandmother mumble out "it's a no go" made me so embarrassed. Before that, it was bad enough that my beautiful Kappa sister canceled her flight for bid day, and my kappa mom was very bitter--I'm sure any mom who has sung the songs with their daughters and showed them their pin, and reminisced would feel the same way. I didn't do very well at the university, either. My grades were fine, but socially it was bad. I kind of gave up on it.

So I transferred schools after one semester. What started out to seem scarily like the same old thing, I soon turned around. Like I say, I lost a goodly amount of weight, I've kept my grades up, I've joined many clubs, and gotten active in community service. There are 3 service activities that I do on a weekly basis, and I'm involved in I think 5 clubs and on a planning committee. The disheartening thing is, though, that the university I transferred to is not an involved school. It never has been. Also, I had began considering transferring back to the original school because of a specific major they offer. Oh, and my twin-but-younger-by-two-years sister will be going to that university in the fall. This long drawn-out story is to ask if I have a shot if I were to rush again? On the one hand, I don't think I have anything to lose: I've already been cut by nearly every one before. On the other hand, I'm not a fan of re-runs, and if there's no chance it will be different, why do it? I feel like I have a better idea of what I'm getting into this time, and that I'm better prepared for it. My mom thought that legacies only had to be given careful consideration the first time they went through rush, and I don't know if this is true. I don't mind if I don't get in to my legacy, the only thing that I would prefer is that I get into a house that makes quota (nearly all of them).

And if you don't think I have a chance, can you please offer me advice for my younger sister. I'm trying to make her more prepared.

Originally Posted by beatlesfan87

First off, thanks for the speedy replies! Second off, I'd like to offer some more information. I'm not going to an SEC school (and from what I hear, that's very difficult), but without giving away too much, I am going to a Big XII school, not Texas if that gives you a better general idea.

1. I have a 3.4 gpa. Considering that it is above the highest sorority avg. gpa (I think the cumulative was somewhere around 3.18), I thought my gpa would not be an issue. Again, I am not the one to know--I didn't expect my gpa to win them over to me either. I am in two honors societies.

2. Campus involvement--double check! The great thing is that I have had so much more of a blast since I've been involved. I was also involved at original school (3 clubs, 1 leadership position), but now I do much more. I volunteer @ a youth mentoring program (inter city school) 2x a week, I volunteer at a state foundation, for lack of a better codeword, I do mobile meals through my church. I'm on a volunteer-event-planning committee, and a coordinator for another thing at my current campus, and roughly 5 other clubs. Greek is not big at current school, and none of my legacy houses are present.

3. Friends in chapter: The highschool that I went to is very well represented in greek houses at original school. I knew several pledges to my legacy from my class and have known them and been friends with them for a while. I have not seen them as much since I transferred, but I play tennis with one of the kappas about 2/mo.

4. Open mind: Always a process. It's weird because now I know to not be naive about sororities, and even though I was cut, I'm not bitter anymore. If I could go back and do it over, there is one of the 3 houses I had left when I withdrew that I wish I had stuck it out and hopefully got a bid. The sinking ship thing is definitely in my mind because one of the houses that didn't cut me is going off campus. It was never my prerogative to only be my legacy or only be a "top house." And I think I feel that moreso now. I think now I would probably be willing to accept a bid from any of the houses on campus (seeing as how the warning-sign one is gone).

5. I'd like to comment on the weight loss thing. I realize that everyone is different, and I have no wish to stereotype, but I will say that there was more to my weight than weight. There was a bitterness that went along with it. I was sure people wouldn't give me a chance, so I didn't allow them the chance. Being self-conscious all the time made me even grumpier, and unwilling to be fun, quite frankly. I didn't want to be noticed any more than I already was, so the funny pictures, and dancing, and dressing up didn't happen with me because I thought I'd look like a fool. Now I see that it was probably those traits that made me not a great fit for the sorority--not only the weight. I find it much easier to have fun, and to put myself out there and make friends now that I am at a healthy weight.

A few other things I might offer up: Rush is not my only reason for transferring back, nor did I lose weight for it, or anything like that. Admittedly, my sister going to this school made it easy for me to re-apply there. The number one reason I'm returning is the major, which is not a prevalent major. The second reason is because I feel like I was a quitter when I first went there. A LOT has changed! I hope that now I have the tools to be happy there (which is away from home--now I live at home) whether I get into a sorority or not. I plan on being involved, trying to make as many friends as possible, and being service-oriented, whether or not I join a sorority, but since this is so much of the organizations, I'm more interested in them than ever before. Its unfortunate that I only come to this epiphany now, as a sophomore in college than as a junior or senior in highschool. Thanks again. Please post any more advice. It's extremely helpful, and I'm trying to be realistic and yet still positive or even hopeful.

QFP ...... just in case.