[Rain Man]

Believe it or not, my non-professional jobs were ok compared to my worst job which was professional. To give you an idea, my non-professional jobs included:

Litter crew member at Ohio State Fair
Electronics sales clerk at Harts
Register clerk at Super-X drugstore (that job was MAD boring, but not the worst)
Sales clerk at Lazarus
Assistant manager at frozen yogurt shot (not a bad job)

But here's the kicker:

I got a job as an accountant at a one-man bookkeeping and tax service in a working-class suburb. The owner, lets call him Jim put me through HELL and was a cheapskate to boot. Case in point, his office was a former motel, where the front office and one of the former motel rooms were part of his business and the remaining motel rooms he rented out to folx for about $100/month.

Anyway, every time I made an error, no matter how small, he would get mad and cuss me out, saying stuff like "YOU STUPID $#!T, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS??!!" or "From now on, I'm gonna call you Stupid Man, cause what you did was stupid").

I couldn't even disagree with him without him throwing a tantrum. Example, I called a client three times and got no response and I asked why the need to call a fourth time. He threw a tantrum and I said, "Fine, I am calling him right now. Are you happy?" Jim replies "But you're fighting me every f[ornicat]ing step of the way!" We can't even agree to disagree.

Well, on two occasions he hired a second assistant. One was a 48-year-old woman and one a 30-something male. While he didn't throw tantrums with them, neither of them stayed long. The woman lasted 8 weeks, the man lasted six days. By sheer coincidence, they both walked off the job at about 10 am by leaving a handwritten resignation note and bounced). On 2 independent occasions, mind you.

Well, aside from me working from 8:30 am to about 7 pm every day, even after tax season and having to hear his bulljive lecture before he gave me my measly paycheck every pay, I managed to last 9 months. On my last day, it was the last straw.

Here's what happened. Picture it, August 27, 1999 at 9:08 in the evening.

I worked 12 hours to get a client's books ready. I had to call them to clarify a simple item on their books. I had to document all questions and responses when we call clients. Well, I got my answer and got them done. I get ready to go home and I was TIRED. Jim calls me in his office and asks me why I had to call a client to inquire about a simple matter. I responded that this client tended to goof on simple things such as this and I didn't want to assume anything. The rest of the conversation went like this:

Jim: I don't think you know sales from cost.
Me: Yes, I do.
Jim: I don't think you do
Me: (getting tired of his bulldrop) OK, fine, I don't
Jim: Well, now as your boss--
Me: Hold up, the LORD is my boss. If you don't like the way I do things, I quit!
Jim: WELL THEN GET THE F[ORNICATE] OUT!!!
Me: Bye!

Well, I make occasional visits to his office and I even gave him and his staff candy canes and Christmas cards at Christmastime. But he still makes lame excuses that he is busy and gives this fake, contrived, dung-eating grin that I know all too well is a front.

But I went through nine months of pure HELL for that job and I will NEVER go through something like that for pay again.