Quote:
Originally posted by TLAW
Ladies, let me play devil's advocate. Be honest, and think about it. If the tables were turned, would you tell that you cheated? Most people don't consider "basic" flirting as cheating, but if you committed anything dishonest, would you tell?
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I can honestly say that yes, I would tell my husband! I care about his LIFE too much to allow him to be intimate with me after another man has been...well, you know! We always "joke" that if one of us cheated, we should "make up" reasons to either A.) not have sex with each other until we could find the words to confess; or B.) "create" some uncomfortable rash, etc. in the nether regions that would necessitate using birth control/safe sex mechanisms we do not currently use (e.g., condoms). Meaning, if you've just GOT to have sex with me after cheating on me, at LEAST respect my life enough to protect me from your potentially disease-ridden pee-pee!
Regardless of what he might think of me after telling him, my husband's LIFE AND HEALTH are more important to me than saving face and not telling him. HE deserves the truth so that HE, not I, can make the decision to stay with me or leave. When you mess up, YOU DON'T get to control how the other person behaves!!!! You can't tell them to not "blow it out of proportion"; you can't ask them when they want to stop hearing you say/show that you're sorry; you can't tell them how to grieve, when to be mad, when to forgive you, etc.
This is one of the reasons (besides my promise made to him and God on the marriage altar) that I wouldn't cheat, cuz I don't ever want to have to confess. I've been there before, and it ain't pretty.
In this specific situation, I think Professor should pray on it, take a deep breath, and tell her! Man up and be prepared for the consequences, cuz they're going to be there, whether you tell her today, in a year or never. May the Lord bless you and keep you both.