Quote:
Originally Posted by Ch2tf
I'd say, not only were you lucky, but somewhere you were given (by parents or maybe by "nature") a coping mechanism. You were self aware enough to make a judgement about what you did/didn't want to do, and with that you didn't let this chick get in your head.
I don't think saying to kids, and in particular teenagers, that "in X amount of years you will look back on this and see how insignificant it is" is a solution especially because they only think in the moment. However, at the same time, we need to do better about preparing our kids for the future, showing them what's really important, etc.
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Ch2tf, while I agree that parents perparing kids for coping with bullying is important. Sometimes it just isn't enough! In the case where there is no respite, daily and constant torture, whether physically or mentally, seemingly nowhere to turn, no opportunity to find other friends (as in my case - small school, 20 or so kids in each grade), etc. anxiety and depression can set in to a point which you feel there is no hope.
In my case my parents tried everything, bolstering me up, sending me to a local modelling academy (at the time and in my place, the girl's version of martial arts classes
), telling me that it would blow over (well 4 months in with no let up whatsoever, you stop believing that), contacting the school and parents of the kids to try to get it to stop (that only gave them more ammunition), keeping me home, etc. Nothing worked, it went on and on until the emotional disturbance led to physical manifestations and illness.
What would you all have suggested my folks do? They were at wits end, trying everything they could to help me, as they saw me wasting away, sick and miserably unhappy. Their ultimate response was to take me out of the environment, and we were in a position where that was possible. It changed my life, and I am now a happy healthy adult.
As a parent, I thank God every day that my kids have come through adolescence unscathed, happy and whole. There but for the grace of God go I, and I don't judge parents who are doing the best they can, because if you haven't walked in their shoes then how are you to know what they're going through.