[lovelyivy84]

Originally posted by stoplook_listen
for Godsake DON'T TELL. Use your big head and not your heart...
this isn't TV! Doing the "right thing" will do NOTHING!

Let me tell you what will happen if you confess:
1) You will emotionally SCAR her forever!
2) Even if she forgives you, she'll NEVER "forgive" you
3) The fire she has for you will die and never be as bright
4) She will bring this up and rub it in your face FOREVER
5) She may GET EVEN
6) She'll NEVER trust you again....NEVER
7) The word will get out and embarrass BOTH of you
8) She may leave you

What in the world do you or HER have to gain by confession?
1) Integrity...knowing you did the right thing(kudos)
2) You were honest with her (kudos)
3) Did I mention you did the right thing?

The so-called "right thing to do" is not always the "smarted" and in the end...woun't do anything but destroy your world and hers.

for HER mental and emotional well-being...don't put her thru the PAIN of the truth....believe me...she will never heal...even if she leaves you, she will have mad "issues" with her next man...and we've all dated a woman with issues (I hear Badu...Bag lady...you gon hurt you back...draggin all dem bags like that)

I know you feel bad and are hurting now, but believe me...you will feel WORSE if shit hits the fan...this will negatively impact her work, school, kids, family, etc....why cause all this unecessary grief? You've done enuf all ready.

Focus your guilt on NEVER doing this again. Telling her will not alleviate your guilt...it will make you and HER feel worse cause she'll rub it in your face DAILY (trust me I know)

...just givin you the real...Think about it....theirs not a woman or man who will refute the outcomes I've predicted.

..Be smart...don't be mislead by your heart

Aren't you the SAME person who was saying that he couldn't understand why women took it so seriously and it didn't mean anything?

Obviously you know that that is untrue, that it means a lot, and that it is wrong. You appear to be trying to justify it any way you can.

Professor, I think that you should tell her. It is one thing for it to happen, but for her to find out it happened and that you lied about it will in fact make it worse.

If you come to her and tell her, she may or may not forgive you but she will at least know that you respected her as a human being enough to tell her (even if that respect slipped your mind when you cheated). If you respect her as well as love her you will treat her as an adult and not as a posession. She is not something you "have", she is a human being who has the right to decide her own fate, and you as someone who loves her have the obligation to make sure that she knows the truth.