From the Emily Post Institute:
The Finer Points of Dating Courtesy—Gender Neutral
"
Holding the door: Whoever gets to the door first holds it for others.
Getting off an elevator: The person closest to the door exits first.
Helping to put on a coat: Anyone having trouble putting on a coat or sweater should receive some help, regardless of gender.
Paying for a meal: Whoever does the inviting does the paying...
Helping to carry something: A neighbor or coworker—anyone—who is overloaded with books or packages will appreciate an offer of help from whoever is nearby."
There are etiquette rules that don't make presumptions about gender roles. I do agree with them, gender equality means equality in all areas not just when it's advantageous. There's nothing wrong with low key dates, especially the first few, there's way less pressure that way and it doesn't come off as trying to show off. I don't think I've ever paid for a first date, but I've also never asked anyone out on the first date and I always offered to chip in.
How does it work for same-sex couples or any of the alternate non traditional gender identifying couples, do polygamous couples all just split it? I can imagine that would get complicated...
