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This sounds almost like my daughter's experience with the exception that she had a happy ending. She grew up going to Mother-Daughter Christmas teas, sitting on my lap when I was a chapter advisor, etc. I told her going through recruitment, whether and where she joined was her choice. She got cut by my chapter after one invitation and her other favorite group that her teacher had written a wonderful rec to on the same day. She was ready to drop out. I told her that was her choice, but other groups were interested in her and she needed to look forward rather than backward. She liked her other female relative's group even though the tent talk was negative about them. She told me, "Other girls talk mean about them, but I like them and they have been nice to me." She took her brutal cuts at the first of the week and ended up with a full schedule the last two days. She had a tough choice on the last day, but joined a nice group of girls she fits with and who like her. She would have found a nice home with her other pref group, too. So, keep an open mind and don't listen to tent talk. Don't take "Why Your Daughter..." too close to heart. While it may be true, some "top tier" groups know who they want before recruitment starts. If you have 100 girls in a chapter and quota is 50, it is pretty rough knowing that every member might have a cousin, neighbor, boyfriend's little sister, younger friend from high school, etc. coming through that they are fighting for. The only feedback I got from another group (unsolicited) was, "We really liked her, but figured she would go (my group)." Some groups, some campuses go after legacies, others "gun" for them.
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