Quote:
Originally Posted by KappaSig123
Here's the deal guys...
This is my first week at my four year school. I just transferred from out of state and my friend from another school suggested I check out Kappa Sig to me people and possibly join a frat. I wanted to join a frat because I move a lot and I wanted a good core expierence with a group of cool guys.
I go to the rush event on my 2nd day at the school, and freakin love it. We go out after the event and get drinks. About 2 AM that day I am offered a bid on my first day. I love these dudes and think they are great, so I told them that I am totally down to pledge when the ceremony occurs in a couple weeks.
Here comes my concern. You see I'm a slightly shy kid. I'm not anti-social or anything, but you gotta meet me halfway. I did a pretty good job getting to know all the brothers in like 5 days so that went well. The problem is that I feel this enormous amount of pressure now because they offered me on the 1st day I rushed and I know other guys who have been trying to get a bid since Fall Quarter who just got it after me. I assumed that I made a good first impression.
The thing is that at every other event since I feel like they are almost disappointed in how I've acted at our after hours and other frat parties. Like I said above I'm a transfer so I dont know anyone else on camous besides my roommates, the brothers, and other people here and there. I dont know all the people in the frats "social group". We go to these parties and they start dancing with these girls they know or are dating. I dont know any girls at the place so I wasnt into dancing with some random drunk slut. This happened at another party as well. At our after hours I danced with some random ho's just to break out of my shell, but its awkward as shit dancing with girls you dont even know their name or what they look like. Also, while all I did was dance basically 90% the house hooked up with chicks.
I try jumping into conversations with some brothers friends at other times during the party, but they are talking about events and stuff that I know nothing about so I really have no idea what to say.
Apart of me feels like the guys are disappointed that I aint hooking up with girls, and aint basically being like the life of a party. They havent said anything like this, but apart of me feels this way about it.
Here's the type of person I am... I like to party but maybe only 3-4 days a week... I dont like fucking random ho's that I dont know... I'm very chill and relaxed most of the time... I prefer to listen instead of talk... I'm very inexpierenced when it comes to picking up random girls... I'm very friendly... And I just want everyone to have a good time even if I'm not...
My question is that after reading about me do you think I can find my niche in a frat? Do you think maybe I'm just nervous because this is my first week and I should worry less? Have you guys ever regretted offering someone a bid? Should I know more people by now? Does the frat really care about how many "outside" friends you have or "female" connections? Any words to help me out would be appreciated.
I mean I love all the brothers. They are all very cool/nice guys. I mean I tried to break up a fight with a brother and another guy. I got these guys backs. I love the house, the organization, everything. The only thing I'm worried about is if I fit in with them? I dont want to be like the only guy in the frat who doesnt get laid and get hell for it because I dont hook up with random sluts. Or I dont want to go to parties with these guys and feel like an outsider who they regret letting in.
I just need some advice... lol
THANKS ALOT!
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QFP because I feel like I'm crossing a bridge with some goats.
Have you thought that maybe some of the brothers or members take issue with the fact you refer to women as "random sluts" "random ho's" (that's actually hoes) "some random drunk slut" "chicks" might be the issue? I know that if I was friends with a guy and his brother was calling women those things I'd find you to be an awkward douche canoe and wonder why they'd pledge someone who feels that way towards women. If women are picking up on this behavior, you can bet they'd tell each other and you'd have not only the problem of offending your brothers (as those randoms may be their friends) but alienating yourself from women.