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mmm, OK, first, just for reference, we're a men's fraternity, not a women's. The sexlessness of the Internet has its downside sometimes.
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Whoops, sorry about that! I just assumed!
It sounds like the first fraternity, at least, was not the right fit. They should not have picked you if you weren't their sort of chapter on their sort of campus. (And not to sound mean, but perhaps you should have looked for a better fit, too. But that's hindsight being 20/20, so it's easy for me to say. I wasn't in your shoes.)
I totally agree that pledge stealing isn't fair - when I heard that NPC colonies could steal local initiated members, I was a little appalled. And I would personally have a low opinion of someone who was initiated and LEFT their local to join a national. But I assume if it's legal for us, it probably is for NIC, too. That said, too, I would have a low opinion of a national that actively tried to steal members; if they merely accepted a defector, that might be different.
Look on the bright side: You're probably better off without that national, at least! And you are managing to grow and prosper even under difficult conditions.