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In my day, it was about asking permission. Even so, my relationship with my father at that point in my life was awful. As I said, he "owned" me until I went away to college. He was very controlling of everything and I had intense dislike for him at the time that my first husband proposed to me. I don't think my dad even met my second husband until after we had discussed marriage and looked at rings. I think that life stage, the closeness of the relationships and the personal beliefs of the individuals involved are all important factors in deciding whether or not this would be the right thing to do.
For me, personally, I think I would be upset if anybody else knew that he was proposing before I knew. It's such a deeply personal and important decision. What if a man talked to your father and proposed in front of your family and you didn't want to marry him? That seems like it would be incredibly awkward. And, I really enjoyed being the person to tell my mom. It would have been weird to call her and say "I'm engaged!" and have her say "I know". I dunno, it just doesn't fit with who I am.
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