A simple
for comments about what is "right". Anyway....
What are the expectations for participation? I'm sure the member with the open adoption wouldn't have this problem, as she is not caring for her child all day every day, but what about the new member who kept her child? Is she caring for him/her or are her parents taking care of the child? I understand that a chapter wouldn't want "dead weight" as far as participation goes, but there are members who don't pull their weight who aren't pregnant/have a child. Whenever someone posts on here, "I have a baby, can I still join?" 99.99% of GCers advise them not to join because sororities are big time committments and caring for your baby should be a higher priority if you are in that situation.
I can sympathize with a chapter not wanting a rep as the "prego sorority". That's a PR disaster. I know of an NPC chapter at a certain school that has that rep and they struggled with membership to begin with.
33 is spot on as usual. I think the members are most upset that they were deceived, because you said "found out". At least I'd be upset and feel tricked.