Originally Posted by APhiAnna
Your post has rubbed me in the wrong way, not in a "I hate you" wrong type of way but in a "this girl has so much to learn" wrong way.
On the surface, I am "that" sorority girl you are describing. I read US Weekly religiously, rock out to Britney and Lady Gaga at parties, could never part with my Christian Louboutin collection, ride around on my pink bike talking on my pink iPhone, can quote every Sex & the City line ever, etc.
It's people like you and your "unique" friends that, out of ignorance or jealousy, assume from that surface interaction that a) I do everything in my life to fit in with others and b), to quote my favorite viral internet prank, my world revolves around "blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada bags and jelly beans." You are then going to spend all your time talking in pitying tones about how I don't have any real interesting facets of my life, how I am an airhead destined to be divorced with three kids, how I am a conformist, etc.
Well, problem number one is that instead of doing these things to fit in, maybe you should sit back and think about the fact that I might generally ENJOY my girly side, and that it gives me the same amount of satisfaction as your "unique" side does to you.
And secondly, if you are going to judge me from the surface you are going to miss the fact that I spent my spring break in Peru at Machu Picchu and my summer teaching English and math in Kenya, my love for studying American military history and presidential biographies in my free time, the time I spend listening to bluegrass from the 1920s and 30s, my tomboy side of hiking and fishing and white water rafting with my brothers and dad, my love for classic cars, the time I was a Special Olympics bowling coach, etc. That paragraph probably sounds so pretentious, and I think I am really average in a lot of respects, but all the other "blonde, super girly" girls in my sorority could boast a similarly, if not much more, accomplished and diverse list of interests.
You asked how we think you should change. Number one, question your assumption that your amazing music taste and "unique" way of dressing somehow makes you more interesting and less of a conformist. Guess what...if all your friends listen to the same music and dress the same way, that is conformity.
Second, realize how defensive you are sounding. You are saying, "Oh, I want to join this group of girls even though I won't like their music, or their clothes, etc." From our standpoint, how is that not condescending and patronizing? If you read between the lines, you are saying "even though my music taste and my diverse interests are so much better than your simplistic tastes [which, as I said before, is a ridiculous assumption], you seem like you have a lot of fun so I guessss I'll lower myself to your position, but I'm still not going to be interested in the childish things you are."
Not everything you do or like has to be a "statement". The most brilliant girl I know (1590 on her SATs back when 1600 was the highest, went to Ivy League school and going to Ivy League grad school) still talks about crushes, handbags and partying. Not everything has to be serious or intelligent or artsy for her, because she is confident she has that side and therefore doesn't need to flaunt it. It seems to me that the people who micromanage every thing they wear, listen to and say, and then make a point of shouting to the world how different they are, are really just compensating for something inside of them that says they are inadequate. (To be fair, that also works for girls who spend time talking about their wealth, good looks and boys they get just as much as it does for girls who talk about their superior music taste, the fact that only their friends get the true meaning of life, their contempt for conformity, etc). A sorority is not going to fix that feeling of inadequacy.
Sorry for the novel, I just think this attitude is incredibly patronizing and frustrating.
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