[Ggirl617]

Originally Posted by southbymidwest

I have sympathy for both the mom and the daughter. The mom has taken the "If I don't advocate for my sweet daughter, no one will" mantra and has warped it, not recognizing (or wanting to recognize) in her insecurity that she has done her daughter a disservice by not letting her fight some of her own battles and figure out what works/doesn't work. She has effectively told her daughter by her actions that she does not have enough confidence in her daughter's abilities to deal with the rough spots. Her interference with whatever the next step is will just confirm it even more for her daughter. Gees, she can't get away from mom no matter how far away she is! It is hard to let go, an empty nest can really suck. The daughter will have to be the one to tell her mother to knock it off, and she might not be ready to stand up and have that conversation with her mother yet. I admit, I would tell my friend to let it go, and that her interference, although well meant, could make things much worse, and what does her daughter want, not what does my friend want? Ehh, she would probably get teed off and hang up on me. OK, I will jump off my very tall soapbox now.

Sometimes the daughter telling the mom to butt out, will make zero difference.