Quote:
Originally Posted by Low C Sharp
I agree with you. We live in a culture with different mores for men and women. The woman in this consensual scenario went much further outside the rules of culturally sanctioned behavior than did the men. That doesn't mean she's right or wrong, crazy or sane...it just means we have to look at her behavior in that context when we try to understand what happened.
Consider a non-sexual example. My sister, a social worker, was trying to help a family in the projects. One very troubled child in the family was eating the cockroaches in the apartment. Now it turns out that cockroaches are edible, they are considered food in some cultures, and the child wasn't in immediate physical danger from eating them. But that's not really the issue. Our culture says that cockroaches are disgusting vermin, not food. This child's violation of the cultural taboo was a strong signal that something was terribly wrong -- that the child viewed herself as lowly like vermin, or that she was going to extremes to disgust and offend her family. You couldn't understand what was going on in that family in the absence of the cultural taboo.
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Yep.
If I were trying to evaluate the woman's behavior morally, I don't see a whole lot different in the
initial sex than had the women had sex with each of the five men over a people of five days, five weeks, five months, whatever. You're/I'm either hung up on lasting monogamy or we're not.
But because having sex with five guys on one occasion is, as best as I can tell based on the limited info. available, so far out of what's socially normal with such a high price for the woman to pay in reputation or esteem, her willingness to engage in it points to something being seriously wrong.
Because something, IMO, is seriously wrong, it becomes unethical for those guys to pursue that kind of sex with her.
In some theoretical universe where sexual mores are different, this wouldn't necessarily be the case, but in 2009 America, I think it is the case.
On a practical level, I suspect that the "something being wrong with her" is closely tied to her willingness to claim she was raped and that's all the more reason for guys not to pursue this kind of encounter.