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Old 09-07-2009, 01:37 AM
AGDee AGDee is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Michigan
Posts: 15,823
Obviously, I'm not a person who doesn't want kids because I have two teenagers that I would trade for the world. HOWEVER, I think it's important to know yourself and know what you want. Nobody should have kids out of pressure from someone else (including a spouse) because it's HARD to be a parent, even when it's what you really want. It takes an inordinate amount of patience, money, time and sacrifice. I love my kids and have loved being a parent most of the time but I'm also counting down the years (5!) until they are both in college and I will have my life all to myself again. There are a lot of people who think I'm strange because I'm looking forward to having an "empty nest", but after almost 16 years of this incredible responsibility, I'm ready to do my own thing without thinking about anybody else's needs first. I think it will be a liberating thing, not a scary thing, but then, I have an identity outside of "daughter's mom" or "son's mom".

And, people always tell me "You don't stop being a parent when they turn 18", I think of it more like this.. when they turn 18, I am no longer responsible for them 24/7 as I am now. They will be adults and yes, they will need me in some ways, but it surely won't be the same as it is now.

One of the social workers that I worked with in adolescent psych has worked with children her whole career. She is now a school social worker. Her husband works for the Boys & Girls Club. They chose to be childless even though they are both wonderful with kids. They focus their talents on kids who need them but feel too independent to be tied down with kids of their own (and they both aren't sure they would have been able to deal with their own kids after spending all day with the kids they work with!). Very neat couple who were strong enough to know themselves.

So, for those who choose not to have kids, I most definitely support you, no matter what your reasons! Kudos to you!
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