You know...I just found this thread today. I don't know why I didn't read it before!
Newbie,
I am so glad that you're starting to see those little rays of light breaking through the clouds. I felt so bad as I read your posts - I could tell how much you were truly upset about the whole ordeal. College admissions shouldn't give people strokes!
Warning: Long post ahead! Grab some snacks or something.
I myself was a pretty good student in school. I took some honors courses and an AP class. My GPA was 3.6. I knew I had a decent chance at getting into a good college. I wanted to be a physical therapist in the worst way. There are only four universities in California that offer PT - San Fransisco State, Cal State Fresno, Cal State Northridge, and Cal State Long Beach. Being from San Diego, I liked Long Beach the best.
I also received loads of packets from Northwestern and Boston University. I really wanted to go to Northwestern; it has an *excellent* PT program. Unfortunately, my mother nearly fainted at the thought of paying a $45,000/yr tuition for out-of-state students. I could tell she really didn't want me to go there or to Boston. She kept trying to tell me how cold it would be. (Funny though, 90% of my family is from Chicago, IL and about 5% are from Gary, IN! I'm a CA girl!).
Of course, many of my classmates were like "Why don't you go to UC San Diego!?!?!" I was like, "Helllllooooo they don't offer physical therapy!!!"
Instead, I applied ONLY to CSU Long Beach and was accepted. Though my classmates dismissed Long Beach State as "ghetto" and a "commuter school", I was extremely happy with my choice. (BTW- I am such a HUGE Long Beach State advocate...GO BEACH!!!).
"Unfortunately", my family is middle-class and the financial aid folks said that we "made too much money." Then, at the same time I was rejected by the financial aid people, my father lost his job (was forced to retire). My parents promised me that they would do anything to make sure I went to college. My mom flippantly said she'd sell the house if she had to.
Two years in, the physical therapy department cancelled the bachelor's program and made it a master's only. I was crushed. I had wanted to be a physical therapist since I was 9 years old (my mother was a rehab nurse). I ended up switching to human development. Also, my mom fell ill and passed away a year later. Now, I had to depend on my pathetic part-time job and my dad's help. Worse yet, because of my forced major change, and my family's sad loss, I had to attend college for 3 "extra years."
My dad, bless his heart. My father, who was in his late 50's, and has very poor knees, couldn't pay for my expenses with his retirement money. He took a job stocking shelves at Target to help pay!! Then, he took a second job as a janitor at a Catholic church. Meanwhile, I worked as a security guard at rock concerts.
On my graduation day, when I came off the field to meet my family, my dad and I cried so much, that apparently the volunteers working at the flower booth nearby started getting tears in their eyes also!
I felt I needed to take a year off before going to get my master's degree; something which is practically mandatory in my field. By the way, I decided not to become a physical therapist after all. Instead I am going to pursue a Master's in Education with an emphasis on higher education. That is, I will essentially be a college counselor/administrator.
Anyway, because I was afraid that my grades weren't good enough, I didn't want to apply to grad school lest I embarass myself. So, I waited until my final results came in. Even though my last three semesters were 3.5 or higher, *and* I finished on the dean's list, my cumulative GPA was a 2.96. Argh! I was so disappointed that I missed the 3.0 mark! Instead of applying to grad school right away, I decided to wait a year and add more work experience to my already packed resume (my internships, *not* the security guard stuff!). In the end, I decided to give it a go.
Cal State Long Beach had a nice master's program which is exactly what I needed. It's cheap and solid. But, I kinda felt like I may not enjoy the program that much. Plus it was THREE years long!!! I mean, after spending seven on my undergrad, three years is NOT appealing. Then again, I'm settled here; my family is nearby. Then *again*, as much as I love Long Beach State, I thought I might get "stale" having stayed at the same place for so long. Plus, because it's the least expensive program in the area, it's very competitive.
University of Southern California is a favorite university of mine. I would *love* to go to SC as well. I have two friends (my current roommate and her brother) who went there. My roommate has granted me Honorary Trojan status.
SC has an excellent master's program. However, as you know, it's expensive to go there! But, then again, SC has this magical quality about it. I once walked into a supermarket in Long Beach with an SC t-shirt on. Some random 45 year old man looked at me with this big smile, raised his hand and shook two fingers in the air. How cool is that! People from SC all but yell "Fight On!" as you drive past on the freeway and they see an SC sticker on your car. More importantly, it has an excellent academic reputation. I wanted to go there very much, but didnt think I could afford the huge costs.
Then there was my first choice. The University of Bristol....in Bristol, ENGLAND. I have been to Great Britain before and I just love the city of Bristol. A major plus is that the program is only one year long. I didn't know it at the time, but Bristol U. enjoys a VERY NICE academic reputation. It has been ranked behind Cambridge, Oxford, and U. of London. Very well-ranked. Not only was I afraid that I couldn't afford it, but that I wouldn't get accepted!! I thought they would scoff at my 2.9 GPA. So, I made sure to write a very nice letter to go with it. I also think that my professors wrote glowing recommendations about how I had overcome personal challenges to pursue my dream of getting my BA. In my heart, I knew that Bristol is where I wanted to be.
Bristol took one week to decide to offer me a place.
I haven't even sent my USC app in! Cal State Long Beach is still farting around with my application. I could have taken the easy way out and stuck with CSULB. After all, it would be $6,000 total for tuition! (3 years x $2000/year) This is dirt cheap compared to $12,000 for Bristol or $45,000 for SC. Instead, I returned my offer to Bristol indicating my acceptance of their offer.
Now, I'm not wealthy. Not even close. I can't afford the nearly $30,000 it's going to cost to live and study in Bristol. But, at the same time, I have to ask myself how much is the experience of moving to England and attending a prestegious university worth? In my mind, it's worth every penny. The life experiences I'll gain alone are worth a 10-year stafford loan plus the additional loans.
So what's my point? Never give up. When my high school friends gave me weird stares when I announced that I was going to CSU Long Beach...I didn't care. And you know what? I had the time of my life. When everything fell apart for me at college...I didn't give up. When I thought that I could *never* get an offer from my first choice grad school...I added some extra work experience and applied anyway. I'll find a way to pay for it 'cause that's where my heart wants to be.
I am so fortunate to have a father who totally supports my decisions. He understands that college is much more than earning a degree. It's about finding yourself and your place in the world. I was thinking the same thing that the others were, your parents may be panicking because they are afraid to see you so confused and torn. My dad once said something mean to me when I called up my first week at college crying 'cause I was homesick. I realized later that he freaked out because he didn't expect me to call up crying. After all, I'm the strong, self-assured daughter.
Newbie, go with your heart. At the end of the day, it's *your* personal development that matters. Yes, you're obligated to your family, especially when they're paying. Just do your best to work out the finances and work to convince your family why you feel you're making the best choice for yourself.
I'm glad to hear that it sounds like things are moving in the "right" direction for you. Keep your chin up! Stay positive!
Fight On!
......Kelly