First off: thanks for all the great comments
Now, back to bid day!
Most of the girls I had grown closest to pledged
PURPLE or
LIME. I knew very few of the
ORANGE new members. I tried to stick with the older
ORANGE girls that I had gotten to know during rush, including my freshman experience leader. We went to our bid day picnic and played a few games and such, but I was so overwhelmed with different emotions that I just couldn't really be social with my new sisters.
We had a week or so before we had our formal pledging ceremony. We had some sort of fun activity planned every single night until then... movie nights, dinner nights,
ORANGE only dance parties on the sorority hall, etc. I went to every single event, hoping I would finally click with someone else in my pledge class and start to feel like I belonged here. Instead, the only girls I really felt comfortable with were a few of the seniors. Most of the girls in my pledge class were all friends before rush even began, and had decided to all join
ORANGE together... one of the biggest disadvantages to deferred recruitment, in my opinion. I know very little about deferred recruitment at larger schools, but at our school, where the total student population is around 1,200 (smaller than my high school), I think it makes things harder on the PNM's. Of course, that's just my humble opinion! I really just felt like an outsider in my pledge class. Looking back, the fact that I bonded so quickly with the seniors probably didn't help much, either.
I still wanted so much to fall in love with my new sorority. My aunt gave me a few of her old t-shirts and such, and promised to be at initiation to pin me with her badge. I probably would have given up a lot sooner if I hadn't wanted so badly to be a member of the same wonderful group of girls that she loved so much.
The day of my formal pledging ceremony, I was absolutely sick. I knew I didn't want to be an
ORANGE. I had been hoping and waiting all week for something to fall into place, for things to click, and for me to finally feel like I was home-- but it never happened. An hour before the ceremony, I tracked down the president (one of the seniors I had so quickly fallen in love with) and told her my concerns. To be honest, I don't even remember most of our conversation. I think I was so nervous and on edge that I just rambled on and on. Eventually, I told her that I didn't think I could go through the ceremony. It wouldn't be fair to
ORANGE, and it wouldn't be fair to me. I hadn't sought her out for conversation with the intention of quitting, but ultimately, that's exactly what I did.
First and foremost, I want to explain
why I chose to quit so early on in my pledging: for one thing, I had done a lot of soul searching that week and decided that I wanted to explore my options at another school. This had nothing to do with sororities-- the school I was at had never been my first choice school. I had been pressured into going there by my father, who cared more about prestige than he did my happiness. All along, I had hoped that joining a sorority would "fix" things for me there. That's a pretty big expectation to pin on any sorority! Secondly, I want to add that I have more respect for
ORANGE than you can imagine. They truly are/were a classy group of women. BUT... have you ever just met someone and not really "clicked" with them? I've used that word a lot in this story, but like I've said before, I'm no English major, haha, so I can't think of a better way to put it. Anyway, just because I didn't really feel like myself with them doesn't mean they are any less wonderful-- it just means that I wasn't right for them, or vice versa.
Sooo... that's my recruitment story, Part 1. I'm not an
ORANGE. I'm not a
LIME. And two years later, I'm no longer a student at that school. So believe me when I tell you that things got interesting after I de-pledged from
ORANGE. I transferred the next semester to a school right down the street with literally 40 times as many students, and 3 times as many sororities. Part Two, School Two-- coming soon!