[rosiegirl]

I need some advice. I've just finished sorority rush and got a bid from my first choice. I listened very carefully whenever I visited any house because I knew what I was looking for. I want a sorority that has and purposely promotes strong relationships among sisters, one that is relatively serious academically and one that is not really into partying as I don't drink at all and, while I don't hold that against others who want to, I don't want to feel constantly at odds with my sisters over the issue or make them feel judged by my non-participation. I thought I had found that with my first choice. I was really impressed with their presentation. They seemed very serious about their philanthropy and the girls had specific examples of how their relationships with each other had been positive and helpful. Most importantly to me, partying and drinking didn't seem to play a big role in their social scene. I was really happy to be pledged to them, until my first visit to the house as a pledge. It was as if the sorority I chose was completely gone. Most of the conversation going on between new pledges and members centered around partying and boys. I thought at first it was just chatter, but one of the members kept asking me how often I partied and saying how much fun it was. I said I wasn't much of a partier and didn't drink at all. She said that many of the girls party 3 to 4 times a week, but a few of them only party on the weekends so I could hang out with them. I was really confused by this so I talked with her about my impressions of the sorority during rush and she said, "Yeah, I feel bad we have to lie to you during rush but we have to make the sorority look good."

I'm feeling completely misled and frustrated and don't know what to do. My second choice sorority was (and actually is) not a big party sorority but was upfront about being much more casual about academics. I specifically picked my first choice because I was hoping that being in a house where they were serious about academics would stretch me. I wish now that I had gone with my second choice as I feel they were much more honest with me. Help.