[BlueCarnation]

Originally Posted by littleowl33

On the topic of recs and such... I can't say I agree when you say that "ignorance is no excuse". I grew up in the northeast, had never heard of recs and knew no one in an NPC sorority. I assumed Greek Life was like any other extracurricular - if you wanted to join, you just joined. Luckily, I ended up at a school where this is pretty much the case - no recs or legwork required. The groups don't ask for resumes or anything, and really, cuts are based on GPA, personality and any sort of glaring "my reputation precedes me" (positive or negative) situation. I rushed with little to no knowledge of the Greek system and got a group I loved. Lucky me!

But if I had gone to a school with a really intense Greek system, where you're cut immediately if you don't have recs or haven't sent in a resume, body shot, head shot, etc. etc. I would have gotten steamrolled. Honestly, I would have had no clue that things like this even existed. It would never have occurred to me to research it before I got there, just like I wouldn't have researched the application process for joining any other philanthropic or social group - I was focused on what major I would declare, what dorm I was in, stuff like that. I can same the same for 95% of my high school peers. It's just not part of the culture I grew up in, at all. Like the southern girls who were groomed for elite groups at SEC rushes since they were children, I was groomed for "elite" colleges since I was little. Everything is about what college you go to - big names preferred. For the rest of your life, you're introduced as a So-And-So grad, not an XYZ sister. Greek life was never mentioned. If I heard of it, it was just a "fun thing you do in college". Reading this over, I feel like it sounds snobby, and I really don't mean it that way at all. I'm just trying to point out how different it is.

Not to toot my own horn, but going into college I had great extracurriculars, very high GPA and SATs, and since joining Kappa I've been really (perhaps overly) involved and have held a leadership position every year. I would say I've been an asset to my group, and I love my membership. It's kind of saddening and frightening to me that had I rushed at a Greek system that relied so heavily on recs and connections, I would never, ever have had this experience.

I don't mean this as a criticism of the system, just another viewpoint!

I agree with this! Not that these schools aren't good, because they absolutely are, but some of these gals simply would not have been accepted into my college with their high school GPAs, and the thought that they couldn't make it without a rec is just foreign to me. I feel like some of the mothers on here--mainly the ones who complain that their daughters didn't get into a sorority--see college as a conduit for getting into a sorority and that's it. I don't understand how a parent can allow a child to drop out of school if they don't get into a sorority, but that's my issue, I guess. That is something I am not used to, nor is the need for recs. The processes are very different everywhere, and I think these forums are very helpful and informative to help people who might not know what they're in for get familiar with it all. There is no right or wrong--there just is. In the end, we all share a Greek experience, and for that we are very lucky.