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Originally Posted by bamamom90
My daughter had a rough 10th grade year, which pulled her GPA down significantly.....and I do understand that with 1500 young women going through recruitment, there has to be a method of reducing numbers....the sizes of these pledge classes is crazy!!!! At a WAY smaller college, we had 25 in mine, which was awesome, as I really felt like I got to know each one............but! This has just been such a big shock. When she went to the Tri Delt house on Open House day, she called me afterward and said, "This is it, Mom, I could tell they had done their homework, (read her recs) they knew all about me, and they knew I love St. Judes! I talked to 14 girls and they made me feel so comfortable. I loved them!" Then she was dropped. After being asked if her mom was coming to Bid Day, telling her how much fun they have, etc. I know it had to be a grade drop........but to an 18 year old freshman, this is just so devastating......she actually loved all the sororities and only felt that 2 or 3 might not be a good fit for her personally. I just can't believe that she isn't going to have this as part of her college experience.
I would also say that we are not from Alabama and my child did not know anyone going in....but geez, is this not part of the point? Getting to know new friends? I will stop whining.........I'm just still in shock and devastated for my baby.
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At a school like Alabama where there is a very active Greek community, grades are important as well as recs and having a personal friend or acquaintance in the house who can push her. However, lots of girls get into sororities without knowing anyone, including out-of-state girls. To echo an earlier suggestion, here are some ideas to consider: work hard to get good college grades and consider going through this ordeal again as a sophomore, and consider continuous open bidding ("open rush") at the houses that offer that option. Getting to know some sorority girls through campus activities, the dorm, or classes is a great way to develop friendships and get an inside view of sorority life and a particular house, and what they may be looking for in a new member.
The week is very stressful for the girls, they're tired, and they get their hopes up. It can be a cruel disappointment not to get invited to join, but it isn't the end of the world. If it never works out, there are still so many things to get involved in on campus and many wonderful, wonderful people who never want to be Greek, cannot afford to be Greek, don't get invited, or never know enough about the process to pursue it. There are ups and downs to being Greek, and in the rosy glow of accepting a bid, many girls will later decide it isn't the heaven on earth they thought it would be. I hope your daughter will not give up, but try again. By the time she has been on the campus awhile, she may find it is a goal she wants to work toward, or she may find it loses its luster and she wants to direct her energies elsewhere. I wish her luck in whatever direction she decides to travel!