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Bless your heart. "Helpless Southern belle" is, of course, an oxymoron. There is no such thing.
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But, don't you know that part of our upbringing is learning how to work the "helpless Belle" angle to get what we want from witless and stupid men?
Haven't y'all seen Gone With the Wind???
No offense to Elephant Walk, who I find really entertaining, but I find it pretty funny to read about "Old South Frattiness" from somebody from Arkansas. I know I'm a Texan, which has its own ridiculousness (and I would never purport myself to be an expert on southern frattiness anyway), but Arkansas? Really??