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Oh, Lord!! I'm from the South, so brace yourself:
ROO-bree=rubric
TIMOTHY=timid
VI-agas=Viagra
AID=AIDS
Waf=Wife
took sick=got ill (not a mispronunciation, but funny just the same!!)
make groc'ry=going grocery shopping
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"Every woman should have four pets in her lifetime:
A MINK in her closet,
A JAGUAR in her garage,
A TIGER in her bed,
and a JACKASS to pay for it all."
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