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I have no idea where you live, but try setting up an excursion to a professional sporting event. Make it an all-day thing. Have a formal banquet. Set up a website that allows them to insert their contact information. Send out a periodical newsletter with sparing updates on the chapter, and lots of material on alums (like "Where are they now" or a profile on a particular individual).
If you plan something, make sure you let them know 4-6 months ahead of time. This is strictly for the married guys with kids. In my experience, if you don't give them enough notice, they won't come. Period.
Make them feel like they're coming back to college for a weekend. Cater to both crowds - the young and still wild, and the older and established.
Bottom line: make it fun for them. If they see that you're trying to keep in touch, they may start to loosen up their wallets.
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