When I got married, I took my husband's name. I had always thought that I would hyphenate, but my sweetie's name was just too darn long. (LOL) I wound up taking my maiden name as a second middle name.
Socially, I go by Ms. Hisname. I'm not too bothered if someone says Mrs. Hisname, but if they keep it up, I correct them. I insist that my first name be somewhere in there... I have a perfectly good first name of my own, thank you very much
If someone addresses a wedding invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast, I send back the reply card reading Mr. Hisfirst and Ms. Myfirst Hislast, or something of that sort.
The only thing that really angers me is when I get something addressed to "Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast." (Not Mr. and Mrs., just Mrs.)Like I said, I have a perfectly good first name of my own!
I believe each couple should decide together what to do about their last names - whether she takes his name, he takes her name, she hyphenates, he hyphenates, they both hyphenate, they make up an entirely new last name, whatever.