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According to Ms. Manners (pg 451), in sending an invitation to a couple that is separated, you should write to each separately, at each separate address.
In accordance to your original issue, according to Ms. Manners (also pg 451 to pg 452), you can address the envelope to the direct person (Mr. Jon Doe or Ms. Jane Doe) and state on the invitation, "I hope that you and your wife/husband will be able to join us for dinner."
Ms. Post can be a little old fashioned and Ms. Manners tends to try to be "ahead" of the game in dealing with the "new world." Hope this helps.
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