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Girls like to hang out with guys who are fun to be with. A group of guys can complement one another in this way because some are the conversationalists, some are the wits, some are zany, some are good listeners, some are good with music, or food, etc. I think it all goes back to brotherhood...if you genuinely enjoy each other's company and have a lot of fun together, the girls will pick up on that and want to hang out with you, too.
Old habits die hard, however. If the girls normally hang out with rival XYZ fraternity because they have a lot of fun there, it's going to be very difficult to persuade them to change. I do like the fact that you had a barbeque, though -- things like that get the ball rolling.
If conversation is a problem, then you'd better have activities to fall back on -- i.e. a Wii, Guitar Hero, a ping-pong table, a dart board, frisbees, or whatever -- the more the better. I've seen girls pick up random pieces of sports equipment that are laying around (i.e. lacrosse sticks) and start to play with them. You can have a giant jigsaw puzzle in progress on a table or a deck of cards handy. All make great ice-breakers.
Money is nice, but is usually not a huge issue unless you're so desperately poor that you can't go out and do normal college things. Lack of a car in anywhere but a highly urban setting is pretty lame, though. JMO
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