I agree with the two photo option. My family did this a while ago, when I was about 12(my hair was so horrible!
. My grandparents have 7 children, 6 have been married, all of those divorced, 3 remarried and the seventh now engaged for the first time, so this is an issue too. In the extended family photo, we even included step-cousins(sons of my aunt's second husband; they're now divorced too). My grandparents still hang the photo, just in a less prominent place, and instead hang the photo of them with their seven children.
We accept the past and acknowledge the part all these ex-es play in our lives. It may hurt us but it is a part of who we are.
If your inlaws really want just the kids and grandkids fine, but I'd have your husband suggest to have a second photo taken with you and the others left out...it only takes a few moments more and then the family has a choice of which photo they want.