[LΩVE]

Are these rumors the "XYZ's are alcoholics and put notches in their bedposts for every guy they sleep with" kind or that "I heard a couple of XYZ's hooked up with FrankyFratBoy"?

I don't want to downplay your problem, but it comes up routinely in my chapter and something I've noticed from having close friends in several other sororities is that this problem sometimes seems much bigger than it is from the inside than outside, and that every chapter struggles with it to some extent. Certainly it doesn't excuse bad behavior but it might not be a PR crisis situation at this point. My chapter has experienced several pretty severe (and severely embarrassing) incidents at the hands of individual members. IF the situation is severe and your reputation is completely trashed on campus, then hold an immediate intervention. If not you can be more subtle. This is my suggestion for handling it, based on our experience:

People who don't get the basic concept that a member represents the whole aren't going to respond to a lecture. They'll get defensive, angry, and probably more determined to become hellions. If the rumors are disgustingly lurid and more importantly ACCURATE, writing them down and reading them out loud (removing any names, because calling out generally breeds resentment) can make a point. Likely they will not at first notice the rumors are about them, so you can ask the chapter, "What do you think about these rumors?" They'll boohiss them, then explain that these were rumors you've heard from friends/other sororities/fraternity members with YOUR letters attached, you can get the point across. Be careful NOT to call anyone out, as individual behavior problems should be handled one on one. This includes reading rumors that have an obvious culprit that everyone will recognize. Anything said needs to be anonymous, or something that several people have done.

This won't always work depending on the chapter's personality. If you think you are going to get a shitstorm in response instead of calm discussion, there's also this route:

Use the "d" word. Disappointment. It's important NOT to take the "I" versus "you" route. That will put the culprits on the defense. But explain that EVERYONE makes mistakes and behaves badly at times, including the person giving the speech, but that this behavior disappoints friends and family. A sorority is a second family unit and bad behavior can disappoint sisters. Be sure to repeat that EVERYONE makes mistakes, especially in college, but that this doesn't mean the mistakes are ok. Mistakes should be learned from. Every sister will do something to make the sorority look bad at some point, from saying something bitchy about a sister or other sorority member out loud to hedonistic displays at a frat party. They should recognize the decision to act that way as a bad one, file it away, and learn from it. And their other sisters should remain supportive and encouraging when they are able to correct a bad behavior. I've said before in chapter, maybe a little bitchily, but still...positive reinforcement works with dogs, why not with sorority girls? Maybe have a box which sisters can put notes into about other sisters, positive notes about something nice they have done that week. Have a featured member every week. I suggest picking sisters that sometimes misbehave in between the stars, because they are the ones that need the positive comments the most. When sisters praise the way they helped during a bad break up or with biology homework, whether they admit it or not, it'll make them feel good. They won't change their ways over night and it is a simplistic exercise but sometimes kids who behave badly do it for the attention it brings, even if it is negative attention. Be sure to talk to girls that are repeatedly doing bad things one on one. Make sure your standards officer is not accusatory but is making an effort to help. Sometimes drinking too much is a real problem, not just a misbehavior. Sometimes sleeping around constantly has a deeper root than wanting to get off...a girl feeling inadequate or hurting becuase of a boy. Obviously this is not the problem every time nor are these issues that collegians are equipped to deal with, but this opens the door to bring in a trusted adult or advisor to help the member find professional help without embarassing her. Sisterhood is about being supportive, so sometimes it just takes a little digging to find that Suzy Slutbag isn't really just a selfish bitch, or that Amy Alcoholic is genuinely in need of AA, and isn't just an out of control partier.

That being said, there do exist members that none of this will work on, and that are totally selfish and will NEVER understand how their behavior effects the group. If they are participating in illegal activities or repeatedly, after being talked to individually, doing extremely scandalous things they can be released...if not it's just up to the rest of your members to try to outshine the bad with good as best they can, and recruit girls NOT like these members so that in a few years this is no longer a problem.

Also, sometimes our officers forget that college kids drink underage, drink a lot, have sex, sometimes experiment with drugs, etc. None of our organziations support these behaviors and it's important to help women grow out of these behaviors, BUT for many the sorority isn't a religion, and they should be allowed to make mistakes that college students do. I've said before "it's college, lighten up". You can't control every girl and that's ok. Every other chapter on campus has the same issues, as does every chapter of every organization everywhere. Don't cry over spilt milk and remember there is just only so much you can do.

PS-Group discussions involving specifics that call out certain members WILL start catfights. Avoid this at all costs. Also, avoid open sessions which allow everyone to talk. Make sure to make it clear at the beginning of the discussion that if people cannot be nice, polite, and wait their turn (we all learned to raise our hands to be called on back in kindergarten) the discussion will be terminated and may or may not be resumed at a later time. And stick to it. The WORST thing that can happen is cat fights between factions in the chapter.