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I am howling at this entire thread, and feeling much better about my husband (though I love him madly anyway). He's guilty of most of what's been written except the secret phone conversations, though sometimes he does make pathetic efforts to talk in code to his fraternity brothers when they ask him questions he just can't answer with me in the room. Here are a couple of extras worth highlighting:
- World's Worst Sick Person (alluded to by one other person, I believe). He can have the exact same cold as I do, but while I'm taking care of the house and kids like normal he's stretch out prone on the couch, with his "I'm SOOOOO miserable" face plastered on, and says the following at least once every hour: "I've never had a cold this bad before." (This prompted me during his last cold to comment on how odd it was that, during the 15 years of our relationship, he'd never actually had a mild cold.) He then traces the illness's progress through his body. (Example: "Well, it started in my lower chest, and then it just moved up to my throat ....") But the most annoying thing is when he tries, repeatedly, to determine WHO gave it to him, like someone did it on purpose. Makes me crazy.
- Brings up the mail, opens it, reads it, and then just leaves it on the table, all out of the envelopes, for the Mail Fairy to sort through and discard as appropriate. Same with newspaper.
- Tears the little paper tags off his work shirts when they get back from the cleaners, and never, ever, ever throws them away. Same principle applies to cleaner plastic bags and empty wire hangers. !!!
However, please note that if I leave a speck of anything, much less a full item of clothing (such as a sweater) in my car, he has a cow because the car looks "so messy." This is leading me to consider taking all of the clothes he throws on the floor in our bedroom and putting them into my car, which just might prompt him into caring about them (heck, even NOTICING them) enough to put them into the hamper.
But as a friend of mine says, this is the price we pay for being straight!
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