Quadraboob - LMAO - that is hilarious and SO true! I am (and have been since 12) big chested -- so I have always known what is appropriate and not appropriate to wear...why can't other women figure this out? Are they REALLY using Erin Brockovich as a role model here?
Lacy bras and tight shirts -- UGH UGH UGH -- Wal-Mart has a fabulous line of plain satin bras that cost about $9 each. Not the flashy Victoria Secret kind, but it works.
BIG NO-NO -- our national visitor actually did this at preference one year...our dress for preference is long (tea length or to the ankle) black, plain dress. Nothing flashy, nothing spag straps, etc. Black hose with black CLOSED TOE shoes. No jewelry except a diamond engagement ring for those lucky enough to have one, and small simple pearl earrings, other than our badge of course. Well here is our visitor in a black spandex dress -- white bra, no hose and sandals. And she was TOTALLY Casper - so it was hideous. We were all embarrassed and even commented to nationals that visitors should dress appropriately for all ceremonies (and yes we consider our pref a ceremony).
Nude hose -- look cheap regardless. I don't care if they are made by Wal-Mart or DKNY - they look cheap. Suntan...don't even go there. I do love champagne, creamier shades for lighter suits, etc.
Open toe shoes...if you have the body to wear them -- and you better be looking mighty fine -- then they should be worn with sandalfoot hose so we don't have the tacky line to look at. (I'm talking about your "dress" shoes with the open toe -- not sandals in any way, shape, or form -- I don't like open toe shoes (as in one or two toes showing) because they look cheap and totally 80's.
Sandals or thong sandals -- NO HOSE. Gross.
Panty lines -- been here before -- if you wear a thong, then I don't want to see it!! Not through your too-tight clothes, and DEFINITELY not when you stand up in CHURCH in front of me, and you're wearing your fuguly hip hugging pants with your little spandex shirt (we are talking about the house of the Lord here!) and your fuschia pink thong is looking at me the whole time. Okay people...little lesson here -- the thong is going to come up high in the back -- just like other underwear. Why you think when you put it on that it will be invisible is beyond me...you just need to go back to your trailer park and re-think your life if that is what you call appropriate.
(Disclaimer - trailer park refers to what we in the South call "Trailer Park Trash" -- we in the South can use it because we have these tacky trailer parks every 30 seconds down the highway and *most* of the people that come out of them in their *fine* accessories -- usually consisting of a belt buckle bigger than my SUV tires for the men, or the lovely WHITE, Pic-n-pay brand open toe shoes that are 2 sizes too small, but you couldn't resist for the price, with your black hose with the run down the side that you don't think anyone will notice -- will just make you really wonder how the species could continue to procreate. Now, this isn't the same as the folks who have a nice trailer (nice being that the shutters aren't laying on the ground, the siding is semi-intact, and you ain't got 3 dogs tied up to the trailer hitch) and live in a trailer community.)
As for the white shoes...if you wear them, make them a nice quality. If you must wear them...
For whomever asked about the no-white rule between Labor Day and Easter (sorry, Yankees - its Easter not Memorial Day) -- it applies to white (stark white) pants, skirts, and shoes - not blouses. And as to "why" -- the answer is "Just because" -- just like momma will tell you
