[pointNclick]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Psychology of African-American Success
The Internal Dialogue
by Linda Anderson, Ph.D. and Lisa Whitten, Ph.D.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Fear of Envy

Keisha, age 22, confided that she never disclosed her excellent grades or any specific information about her applications to the top law schools to her crew. She said that she felt like she had to keep her success and ambition quietly hidden, in order to protect her "rep" on campus as a "fly girl." She's always been uncomfortable about the envy she elicits from the sisters she hangs out with.

Self-defeating attitude: If I disclose too much information about my successes or ambitions to my family or friends, as well as my excitement about my intellectual/career growth, folks will resent me and try to "bring me down like crabs in a barrel."

Self-affirming attitude: I want to share my success with those who care about me. Just as I want others I care about to share their successes with me. I will have to make healthy choices about with whom I share my accomplishments. In addition, I am sensitive enough to discuss my achievements in ways that preserve the self-esteem of my friends and family who have accomplished less than I have, or who may feel competitive and/or belittled by my accomplishments. I understand that success is relative and defined in many different ways. While I may be successful in many areas, others will shine in ways I will not.

Fear of "being too visible" (fear of looking and being looked at, seeing and being seen):

Clarice, age 33, has just been promoted to marketing manager in a Madison Ave. advertising agency. While others are encouraging her to celebrate her success, she states that she just wants to go into her office, close the door, and get her work done. While she is expected to attend public relations events, appear on television, make presentations to upper level divisions, (which means upgrading her wardrobe), and do more traveling, she prefers to delegate these tasks to her ambitious assistant, who is more than thrilled to accommodate her.

Self-defeating attitude: If I remain as quiet and invisible as possible, I won't have to let others know the fear, hurt, anger and loneliness I really feel.

Self-affirming attitude: Even though I may be shy, I will try to let others know something about me. Suffering in silence will only make me feel more isolated. I will need to focus on relaxation and enjoying my hard won success. Changing with my new position may involve learning how to identify and express my uniqueness in a way that works for me. If others notice me, maybe they will really like my emerging social self. I need to remember, it is not only hard work that is valued, but the ability to interact in a productive and engaging way.

-From the Black Collegian Online

Wow! I see myself perfectly in these two scenarios. Because of my fear of envy (I have had women "shun" and "dis" me b4 due to my accomplsihments, etc.), I also choose to be invisible. I struggle with the "invisible" complex daily, as I have started a new senior staff position where I am getting paid a bit more than most staffers. And I am the only black female, with a grad degree, in a senior position in a 90% white organization.

What an eye-opening article. Thank you for sharing that.

pNc