Quote:
Originally posted by Japera1920
For the record, I am currently living with my long time boyfriend. No we are not engaged.
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Kimmie, as long as you are happy. It is just you and him against the world.
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Ain't that the truth!
I just added it so that my perspective was out there. We all can only talk from our own experiences and when we don't have them yet, our own point of view of what we beleive is rigt for us now and in the future. Beleive me, I do not think I knw the answer to this one and my perspective may be different on any given day. I used to say- no, no way will I live with a man before marriage. It worked out that I made a different decision down the road. But since this is still a work in progress I cannot say whether it will or will not end in marraige (I can only hope!) So I think it is always interesting to here what others' expeiences were. For example, one of my line sisters got married for the first itme. She was in her thirties and used to being on her own. It was the first time she ever lived with a man and she will tell you it was a big culture shock for her. It was not a pleasant experience all the time and was a larger challenge to adjust to than she ever imagined. Of course that does not mean it lead to divorce or anything like that but it was not an easy transition either. Not a factor of people hiding their identity or putting on airs but it just is not he same as sharing the same space completely and all the time accoridng to her. On the flip side, for those who think it is a test run for marriage, most people I know who lived together first say something still is different the first time they walked back in the house as a married couple. THere was a change even though it was not as tangible as moving in together something as different for both of them.
Just examples of expereinces people have shared with me in the past.
Also, for those who used the "why buy the cow when the milk is free" sentiment, I alwyas heard that as a reason why you should not have pre-marital sex rather than co-habitaion. Do you also beleive that you should not have sex unitl marriage as well? (According to my mother, the thought was he won't marry you if you sleep with hiim now since that is a motive for men to get marrided at all- SEX that is. So if they can get sex with out marriage they are less liekly to marry.)