[DST Love]

I know a couple who ended up living together for seven years and never got married. Every year they kept planning a wedding. He is married to someone else now.

From the comments I have read on here about needing to shack up, I have to wonder if a lot of people have been in a serious, EXCLUSIVE relationship before. If you honestly feel like you could marry someone, then you need to start discussing issues to you that you feel are most important. Honestly, if you were in a SERIOUS relationship to begin with, you would have already discussed important issues prior to the discussion of marriage. I would think that you would not even stay in an exclusive relationship if you felt that both of you weren't headed in the same direction.

And as far as whether you could live with someone's habits, etc. Again, if you are in a SERIOUS, EXCLUSIVE relationship and if you date long enough, you will know most of what you need to know regarding living with one another. And anything else you may learn after you're married should not be enough to make you get a divorce. If it is, then again, you didn't really know that person to begin with and probably weren't in a SERIOUS relationship.

I keep saying SERIOUS because I know so many people that think love and having some of the same interests constitute a relationship. But in my opinion, you both need to encounter many different situations together. That definitely teaches you a lot about that person's character, beliefs, values, morals, opinions, integrity, etc.

Also, why would you shack up, combine income, expenses, etc. with someone when you don't even know where the relationship is headed? Why would your risk your financial livelihood with someone you don't know if you could marry yet? And if you're going to shack up and not do those things, then why not just live at separate places and spend time at each other's houses?

I know someone who is shacking up, they have had a baby and no serious discussion of marriage (even though she wants it). I know another couple that lived together two different times, got engaged and are now no longer together.

The more you PLAY married the less imporant I think it becomes to actually GET married.

I think people shacking up lose the respect that marriage is due when they look at one another as just a "trial period".